I awoke with a sensation of something shifted or torn somewhere in or near the inner upper levels of my consciousness, within or near the crown centre. I also had a similar clarity of mind to what I often have after consciously leaving the body, but that night I had not been consciously out of body. I gave the sensation only passing interest as I was due to get ready to leave for a class which was a two and a half hour drive away, about two hundred and fifty kilometres.
It was pre dawn and still dark when I left. While driving I felt impelled to say part of one of my old affirmations, “Whatever temptations come my way, my conscience is my guide. Whatever decisions I have to make, my conscience is my guide.” (During the late eighties and early nineties I would say it two hundred times a day but I had not said it for nearly two decades because it had fired up the conscience (crown centre) to a degree that I did not keep the personality compatible with it, and subsequently produced within me too much contrast and discord. But how that occurred and how to avoid it is for a further post.)
While driving through the darkness along the quiet highway I kept my self (my conscious “I”) tightly centred and focused in the head, looking outward through the eyes, operating the physical body and driving the motorcar, conscious of every deliberate and automatic movement, and all senses acutely operative. My vision was set on full field focus, for the focus of eye and mind move with each other. The emotional layer was rendered still.
Centred consciously in the head at my own internal control panel and fully conscious of all sensory input and of every function of body and mind, I gently reached within via my internal awareness, backward and inward into consciousness itself, into my conscious self, and upward to the inner upper pinnacle of consciousness to the crown centre, then up through the crown centre, to my oversoul, that part of my self within and above conscience, of which I am an extension on the plane of Earth, and of which conscience is the voice within my self. And so it is with each of us.
As I drove through the darkness along the narrow deserted highway I repeated my old affirmation and felt its familiar power. I noticed the crown centre seemed particularly vibrant and responsive. After a few repetitions I ceased the affirmation and drove with a quiet mind.
The sun rose to my left and lighted the sky and landscape. All around were cattle and sheep paddocks and scattered red-gums from one horizon to the other. It was a beautiful morning.
I said my regular thankyous as I drove, out loud and internally, thanking God for all things, for all my blessings, for all truth and beauty, for all provisions, for the lessons of life provided through pleasure and suffering. In understanding of other’s freewill I breathed love and forgiveness to my fellow man and woman. But mostly that morning the focus of my heart was on thankfulness for life and all existence, for truth and beauty, and for the learning within the experiences of life.
I felt the familiar mixture of pleasure and pain in my heart as the thankfulness function caused the heart centre to open and stretch. I felt greatly moved by the truth and beauty of all things, and I expressed much thankfulness for being able to see it. As a great flow of love light flowed from my heart it stretched in joy and pain more so than usual, and the eyes tingled and streamed.
I pulled the car off the highway and stopped on a gravel road and sat. The heart centre continued to stretch with thankfulness for all things, while I, the consciousness in the head observed and aligned my attention with the heart’s attention.
The heart continued stretching and opening in thankfulness for all things. I continued observing and aligning, back, within and up, I felt the crown centre reaching and opening.
Positioned as the observing controlling consciousness between crown and heart, with my inward awareness I reached back within and upward through the crown, and with my outward awareness I reached forward, downward and outward through the heart, and I breathed inline with the downward and outward flow of energies.
Then without effort to do so, my vision began to change. The film of energy upon which exists the world as we know it became visible, like a three dimensional lace curtain upon which the scenes of the world are painted. Focused as such, I was still in familiar territory and had no idea of what was about to occur.
Quite suddenly, the process developed a momentum of its own. The crown and heart swelled with energy and united together through me the consciousness positioned between them. I felt my consciousness expand and elevate beyond expectation.
Familiar physical surroundings became transparent and the layer behind the physical world stood openly revealed. The heart was both painfully and pleasurably but smoothly stretching with thankfulness as its capacity was being expanded. A great volume of energy was coming in through the crown centre and flowing outward through the heart.
Crown and heart centres connected with each other, via me the consciousness between them, while the crown and heart also reached outward in their respective directions. The volume of energy flowthrough seemed immense. I endeavoured to keep control while remaining observant. I felt the vibrancy of my consciousness further heighten and expand, carried by the energy running through it.
Colours and forms from the layers behind the physical film imposed into my vision. I saw the life and workings of things behind the scenes. I felt myself shifting out off phase with the physical body. Part of my consciousness externalised above the crown centre, viewing the landscape all around.
The lace curtain upon which the material world exists became utterly transparent, as did further lace curtains, layer after layer stood revealed, all transparent, and overlayed and intermeshed. Part of my consciousness was now high above the body, sensory input coming in from multiple dimensions. I was conscious below and above the crown centre, both locations as one, and that consciousness united with the heart – the consciousness of crown, head and heart centres combined, their energies surging together. I went with it, breathing inline with the flow of energies through the centres.
There was further expansion of awareness and vision. Layers and dimensions further than I could comprehend become visible. My vision was stopped by nothing. Everything became transparent, and what lay behind it became transparent, and that became transparent, and so on, seemingly forever, looking through layer after layer, and distance after distance, infinity and infinity, all visible yet all transparent.
The colours and life forms and structures of many things became visible to my eye and understandable to my mind. Where ever I looked, I saw; and everywhere I looked, I was there and aware. My awareness expanded as far as my vision went, and there seemed no limit to my vision. And my vision extended to wherever my awareness went, and there seemed no limit to my awareness. Where ever I reached in awareness, in vision, I saw and was there, and knew it and understood it.
I saw great dimensions of space intermeshed as one great manifestation, and all rates of time running together in unison. All time became the same time, so that the slowest and fastest motions of all things were visible to me. I saw the slowness as it were fast and the fast as it were slow, each in their own time and together with each other.
I saw light blue breath as energy flowing through the branches and roots of trees, and saw the branches and roots of trees were bronchial tubes through which the Earth breathed, and the air’s energy went to and from the Earth. I saw the air and earth held together through vegetation, mechanically and energetically. I saw the elements and their forces, conscious and cooperating with each other.
My consciousness expanded and reached wherever I directed it, over the landscape, and further, over and under the seas. I saw the Earth breathing even under the seas, with the kelp working for Earth like gills work for fish. The kelp swaying with the sea and although it had no roots I saw that where it adheres to the rock and seabed there is a point of strain and effort and here was an exchange of energies between the sea and the Earth. I saw the breathing of the Earth and of the elements and the breathing of all things.
Easily, I looked down through and into the living breathing Earth, as if the planet were made of transparent coloured glass, and I saw the Earth functioning as a giant womb and a deep layer within her functioning as an ovary and another layer as a womb. I saw a molten interior with surrounding layer of rock, and rocks being formed and released as eggs are released from an ovary, which rocks I saw are the eggs of Earth, and I saw them coming to the surface forced up and outward by her pressures.
I saw her eggs hatch and release energy as they break down. And all soil and the bodies of all living things on Earth come from these rocks which are the eggs of life on Earth. From these primary rocks came primary soil, then plants and the bodies of other life, and the decomposing bodies made secondary soil and the bodies of everything else.
I saw streams of light energy coming down from dimensions far above and beyond, and the Light descended deep into the Earth and the Light impregnated the rocks as they are released from her molten ovary and pressed upward through her womb, and I saw the Light giving the rocks life energy that is remained forever with them and is within all subsequent life as they break down and become the bodies of those lives.
I looked up to see where the Light energy came from; up through the skies, through one sky after another sky, through one dimension after another, through layers and layers of space and time, following the streams of Light to the furthest and highest places, and from even further and higher came forth the Light, descending through the layers, reaching and penetrating all existence and all worlds, seeding eggs, creating life, and penetrating the Earth and seeding her eggs.
I saw this process through time, of rocks released from the Earth’s ovary, seeded into life by the Light, pressed through her womb to the surface, to become the bodies of all life on the Earth. I saw the divine intercourse between God and the Cosmos, and the creation and cycles of life. I saw why God is male and Creation is female and how it all works.
And whatever I marvelled at, I saw more of it, in more greatness and detail, and more wonder. Whatever I wondered about, I saw and knew the answer and became the understanding of it. When I saw all this in its size and power and colour, in its greatness and its detail, I felt my brain and heart might burst.
I saw and learnt many things, too many to tell here, but this one I will tell because it may be of interest to others. With the sight of all things breathing, the Earth and the universes and all creation breathing as we breathe, I briefly wondered at the effect of smoking tobacco on human breath and immediately I saw the effects of smoking on people’s bodies, psyches and souls. I saw that smoking is to the heart/lungs/love what alcohol is to the brain/judgement/conscience. I saw how smoking dulls the highest standard in the heart, as alcohol dulls the highest standard in the mind, the conscience, and thus eases the sensation of discomfort, felt as stress, that is caused by the difference between one’s general level of consciousness and one’s highest standard of conscience. As alcohol muffles conscience and better judgement and thus makes the mind and general consciousness more comfortable with itself as it is, so too smoking muffles the higher functions of heart centre, making the heart centre’s general functioning more comfortable with itself as it is. At the same time as it makes the heart more comfortable with itself as it is, it hampers the tuning of heart to its highest standard, as alcohol hampers the tuning of mind to conscience. And I saw that this can be either beneficial or detrimental to a soul according to its time and task, and beneficial or detrimental to a race or group of peoples according to their time and task. And I saw that these things are on this planet to both help and hinder.
And many things I saw and understood, beyond normal imagining, and all in their greatness and their detail, and in their connection with everything else.
All what I could see and understand became overwhelming for me. The strain became too much to bear and I feared my brain or heart would burst. So I prayed to God to let me down.
Immediately I felt the energies subside, the centres settling down, the extra vision closing down, the awareness withdrawing down to normal. I came down to normal size, no longer expanded outward. I settled into the physical body and its little brain and spinal cord and organs working. I sat a minute and stilled myself. I said a humble and gentle thanks.
I took a few minutes to settle, checked my senses, the movement of my fingers and toes, ensured I was well integrated with my body, and that my physical focus was as it should be. Then I started the car. An hour and a half later I arrived in class.
We sat in a circle discussing cases and applications of clinical modalities. I focused on the class and put aside the memory of the morning.
Residual from the morning’s experience I had an overly strong sense of my own conscious presence and energy, as if the energy of my presence was more intense and extending further than I preferred for such an occasion. I felt as my energy and presence filling the room.
I thought my energy might be noticeable to others, so I tried to contain it, to draw it in and damp it down. I should have processed it through the heart and simply released it as love.
During a few moments of group silence when the discussion paused, a woman across the circle looked at me and smiled kindly and daringly, and while holding her gaze she said to the group, “I often get a feeling about Crossbow that he has a secret. As if he knows something really big that he never talks about.” All eyes turned and looked at me expectantly for several moments.
I mixed an amused smile with a dismissive frown and a little huff, hoping that would dissuade any attempts from others in the class to follow her lead. It worked. After a few moment’s silence and me not responding further, the class’s attention turned from me back to discussion of clinical modalities and case histories. Had it not worked my next line of distraction would have been to tell a joke. For I have kept these things strictly secret for most of my life.